Thoughts from Aubrey Ohmann

A desire for adventure

2008-03-01T18:58:00.000-08:00

I have always wanted to live somewhere really cool, especially somewhere over seas. It is almost like God is speaking to me through other people because I have heard about and talked to all of these different people who are living out my dream...to teach English in another country. I would love to even move somewhere for just a year for an amazing adventure but the hardest part is trying to convince my husband to do so. Ahhhh...where to go from here?

FRUSTRATION!!!

2008-03-01T18:52:00.000-08:00

Ok, I am going to let off some steam now... I can't stand when Managers don't do their job and pawn everything off on everyone else!!! I mean aren't you getting paid more for a reason?! I work off of commission because I don't really make all that much an hour so when the manager doesn't do her job and makes me do it so that she can have all the leases that are supposed to be my job to take care of...it royally PISSES ME OFF!!! I can't believe how greedy and selfish some people are? You get paid plenty to do the things you are supposed to do...don't take all the leases when my title is leasing consultant.

***Wow, I feel much better now!

Is it really that hard!?

2008-02-24T14:39:00.000-08:00

My husband is sick once again and I swear it is due to his lack of cleanliness. He refuses to wash his hands and it completely grosses my out! Hand washing is one of the main ways to stay healthy and keep from getting sick. I just don't understand why it is so hard to do, it takes maybe 30 seconds which is no time at all. Even if you don't wash your hands for no reason you should ALWAYS wash them after going to the bathroom! It is beyond me that some people can go without washing their hands after using the restroom and my husband is definitely one of those people! EWWW!!!

Outer appearances: why so important?

2008-02-24T14:33:00.000-08:00

I just finished writing on my class discussin forum and the topic was about plastic surgery. I am by no means going to claim that I have never contemplated plastic surgery because that would be a blatant lie, but I constantly find myself wondering why we are so focused on outer appearances. I feel like our society is so clouded about what is really important. Don't get me wrong, I think everyone of us has an obligation to take care of ourselves, but you can do that without major alterations. I think everyone should strive to eat right, excersize, and take care of your skin and body, but going under the knife is a little too far for me. I think that God made everyone individual and perfect in his eyes. And why would we care what other people think about our appearances? In my opinion, if someone is only focused on outer appearances, they are a shallow person who lacks any depth whatsoever.

ARBONNE!!!

2008-02-16T20:10:00.001-08:00

Well, today was my first official day as an Arbonne International Independent Consultant! I had my very first party and it was great! I am super excited about this whole network marketing thing! I started using the products within the last several months and completely feel in love with them! My coworker/friend was the one who introduced me and has been trying to get me to sell the products, or should I say share the products, they sell themselves, for some time now and I finally decided "Why not?" I am such a fanatic of health and wellness and beauty products so this will be a blast for me. And not only that, I truly love the products and I love the attitude of everyone that is involved with Arbonne. I am so excited about getting started and I look forward to seeing how the Lord blesses me and uses me to bless others! Here is to a great road ahead!

Magic 8 ball anyone?

2008-02-16T20:07:00.001-08:00

I know this is going to sound completely juvenile and ridiculous, but why can't we have a magic 8 ball with all of the answers?!?!?! I get so frustrated when I am completely confused about which direction to go in and which choice to make...it is exhausting and draining! I know, I know, I pray and wait for God to lead me, but I guess I am slightly impatient. Maybe thats what I should be praying for, patience!

Blessed!

2008-02-10T11:26:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I forget how extremely blessed I really am. I think that as a society we do not realize how blessed we are and how easy we have it. Most Americans have more that they need or want, but are never satisfied. After hearing the sermon at church this morning, I felt really guilty for not being satisfied with all of my blessings and for not realizing that I truly am rich in every way. God is such a faithful provider and he has blessed everyone in different ways. God is so good!

My Beautiful Little Baby

2008-02-09T18:24:00.000-08:00

As I have mentioned before, I have a miniature Shih Tzu named Zoe. She is the sweetest dog and has become a major part of our lives. We found out shortly after getting her that she had a condition called Hydrocephalus, which is water on the brain. We were hoping that as she contined to grow and get older that the symptoms would subside but to our disappointment they have only gotten worse. She has only gained 1 lb since we got her 4 months ago. Her little head is constantly hurting from the pressure and she walks around putting her head against different things to try and relieve the pressure. It is now to the point that her body is unable to maintain a normal temperature and she is constantly cold. It is the saddest thing. We love her soooo much, but we have decided to put her down so she no longer has to suffer. Although we know it is the best thing for Zoe, since we don't want her to suffer, it is so hard to let her go.

So very lost

2008-02-03T12:00:00.000-08:00

I really wish I could figure out what I want to do after graduation. I don't know if I want to get a Master's, go to Law School, just work full time, or do something else. I would really like to travel and live in at least one different country but my husband is all about stability and focusing on the future, not really the here and now. The best would be to move to a coastal town, anywhere except Texas and live close to the beach. The ocean gives me peace, it it an escape from the rest of the crazy world. So now, I am stuck in the same spot that I have been for awhile, praying for God to give my direction and guidance and waiting patiently for that to happen. I just feel like I am in a very dull point if life...I'm working towards something, but I am not sure what.

Choices...

2008-02-03T11:44:00.000-08:00

Although we are faced with choices on a daily basis, some are much more important than others. I can't help but wonder how different my life would be if I would have made different choices. I guess this is probably a fairly normal feeling but sometimes the wondering drives me crazy. I'm sure it is only because I am a very curious person. On the flip side of that, I can't help but wonder what the future holds for me. If only I could forsee the future...awww how wonderful it would be...but then again, I guess that is God's job.

Socially unacceptable...but why?

2008-01-22T14:41:00.000-08:00

Have you ever been in a public place and your stomach feels as if it will explode in about 2 seconds if you do not expel some gas? I have, and I would venture to say that most normal people have experienced this uncomfortable situation first hand. My question is: Why is it so socially unacceptable to expel gas in public? Everyone deals with it, but why must we suffer through the pain until we are by ourselves in a less public place? I do realize that because of the stigma placed on farting and burping, it is rather hilarious when one does expel their gas in public, but why is it so funny if it is a normal bodily function? If you have found yourself reading this, I am sorry for the randomness, but I am seriously curious about this topic. Another reason is that I am currently at school and my goodness does my stomach hurt from holding it in! I can't wait until I get in my car and I am by myself, my tummy will finally be happy again! haha. So I guess this is my rant for the day...why can't our tummies just be happy? Why must we put ourselves through pain and hold it in?

I'm sure all of you have a wonderful picture of me as a classy lady after reading this! lol, not likely, but that's ok, I'm just me!

Shattered Hearts

2008-01-20T18:55:00.000-08:00

On friday, my mom attempted to kill herself and came too close to succeeding. She took 4 full bottles of strong prescription meds and about 30, 800mg IB Profen. The pills sat in her body for more than 5 hours before my dad found her lifeless and unconsious in the back of her car. The only hope we had is that she still had a pulse. When my dad arrived at the hopital with my near dead mother, they immediately pumped her stomach and fed her charcoal to force her to throw up any of the remains in her stomach. She was forced to spend the night in the hospital so they could monitor her. I was able to talk to her the night of the horrific event and it seemed as though I was speaking to a lifeless, braindead person that I didn't even know. It was the most devestating reality I have ever faced.

Aside from having to come to terms with the fact that my mother no longer wants to live, I was forced to a realization that my mother is obviously mentally ill. I have never felt so many different raging emotions at one time; I was angry, I was sad, I was hurt, I was confused, but most of all, I was completely devestated. You see, my mother was taught from a very young age that she was simply a piece of shit. She was abused in every way imaginable and neglected at every time of need, big or small. She was never loved and nurtured, only beaten into the ground, further and further. And although this is unfathomable to most, she has never been able to overcome her horrific and crippling childhood. She in incapable of thinking that she is of any worth and thinks that she is completely unlovable. And to top everything off, she suffers from extreme bi polar disorder and has been unable to find a psychiatrist that is able to prescribe medicine that actually helps even her out. So in her mind, there is no hope, and consequently, no reason to live and suffer any longer.

I'm sorry to depress anybody who might find themself reading this, but for my own sanity, I had to release the pain and reality through writing. I hope and pray with everything in me that my mother can be rehabilitated, but at this point all I can do is pray and put my faith solely in God because right now, the devil has a firm grip on my mothers mind and he shows no mercy. It so devestating to know that my mom feels like she would be doing us a favor by killing herself, because she would no longer be a burden. She honestly feels like she is incapable of being loved. So now...my dad, my sister, and myself, mourn with shattered hearts...only the lord knows what's in store for my broken mother.

Lost in darkness...in need of light

2008-01-17T07:16:00.000-08:00

I have gone along my way in life, all the while thinking I know what I wan't to do and I know where the Lord is leading me. Suddenly, I find myself at a loss for direction. I am now almost 22 years old and not far from completing my degree in English and now I have absolutely no idea what direction to go in. I find myself exhausted and frusterated much of the time which causes an overwhelming feeling of discouragement. I know that in time I will know the plans that the Lord has for me, but waiting is the hardest part. I push myself to do my best in all my classes, but sometimes its hard, not knowing if I will even use my degree once I graduate. Although I am stuck for the moment being, I do love my life. I am blessed to have a wonderful husband and a loving, little, furry baby. I also have awesome parents and an amazing sister. I'm happy with my current job, but its definitely not what I want to do in the long run! So, I am currently praying and waiting for the Lord to open a door to the rest of my life. And until that happens I continue to keep adding pages to my book along the way. I continue to learn and grow and as long as thats the case, I'm content.

A Much Needed Break...

2007-12-02T20:15:00.000-08:00

Well, it is just around the corner and I can't wait!...Christmas Break that is. This semester has been so chaotic with school, work, and my personal life. It seems as though I have written more papers this semester that in all my other semesters combined...okay, that is a slight exaggeration but it has felt that way. I guess I need to accept the fact that each semester generally gets tougher and tougher, especially when you have so much change in your personal life to top it all off. It has been really nice having two on-line classes because I am able to do the work in my spare time rather than having to allot a specific time each day. I must say I have enjoyed most of my classes this semester, with the exception of Cornerstone. I don't know why but that class is so hard for me to go to. It is so hard to motivate myself. I really enjoy some of the material but other parts just seem like busy work and I hate that.

Work is slowing down because of the weather, so that is a nice change. I am very lucky to have the job that I have. I work with some great girls and I am able to work around my school schedule pretty freely. We just decorated the office and our Christmas tree looks amazing! It is so fancy looking. Although I won't get a break from work, it will be so nice to come home from work and be able to do whatever I need or want to do, instead of having to go to class or do homework. I do love school and I feel very blessed to have the opportunity to go to school, but I get so burned out after the neverending chaos of my life during school. So I plan to take advantage of my Christmas Break and thoroughly enjoy the time that I will have. I hope everyone has an AWESOME break!

A Season of Upsets!

2007-11-25T21:47:00.001-08:00

Well, I must say that college football this year has been insane! It is the season of unranked teams! Arizona beats Oregon, Stanford beats USC, Texas Tech beats OU, Colorado beats OU, Arkansas beats LSU, Illinois beats Ohio State. Mizzou is now in the number one seat! OU has had a crazy season. They have had blow outs and upsets alike. Bradford holds the record for the most TD passes as a freshman quarterback as has proved himself as the team leader. We saw just how important he is after watching the OU/Texas Tech game. After taking a hard hit, Bradford was out with a concussion. When Halzle took over it went down hill from there. He did regain some dignity towards the end but was unable to lead the Sooners to victory over Texas Tech. I must say that the Arkansas/LSU game was very intense! Arkansas won in a triple overtime and proved just how capable they really are of pulling off an impressive win. Mcfadden shined more than ever before and padded his chances of winning the Heisman. After an action packed season, I can't wait to see who wins the National Title!

Holidays!!!

2007-11-17T08:08:00.000-08:00

I am so excited about all of the upcoming holidays! I love this time of year because I get to spend a lot of time with my family. I love getting together and everyone helping to make the perfect meal. This Holiday season is extra special because we have added a new member to the family. This will be our first Christmas with our puppy Zoe. My parents and my sister are so excited because they all love her. My sister also has a serious boyfriend that will be spending the holidays with us, since his family is in California, and we are so blessed to have him as part of the family.

For my husband, Kyle, and myself, this will be our second holiday season together as a married couple and that is very exciting! I am looking forward to doing all of the Christmas decorations together. We had such a great time last year and I expect this year will only be better. One thing that stresses me out about the Christmas season is shopping for everybody. It is such a chore to try and pick something out for each person that they will truly like. I usually want to do gift cards but so many people take that offensive because they think that we put no thought into their gift, so I suppose I will be shopping for each individual person.

Within the next couple years, I would really like to celebrate Christmas somewhere away from home up in the mountains. I would love to be away from everything in a log cabin with snow everywhere. I think that would be such a great experience! When I lived in California, we used to go to the mountains every now and then but never for Christmas. I have always celebrated at home or close to home.

Hope everyone has a wonderful holiday season!

Kids these days...

2007-11-11T15:00:00.000-08:00

I have often wondered what has happend to todays generation of kids, young and old. It is so sad to see how ungrateful and clueless they really are. Its as if they expect everything and don't want to work for anything. I can't believe how parents continue to buy and buy. Even worse than that is this nations obsession with brand names and having the best of everything. It's funny because I started with the term "kids" and the more I think about it, the word "adults" could be added as well. There are so many college students whose parents pay for everything and they expect to have everything without ever exerting any effort on their part to obtain these things. To be quite honest it makes me sick. What are we teaching our children by doing this? We are teaching them nothing. Basically we are teaching them that everything in life is free and that we will always be there to bail them out.

I know a girl, who I will leave unnamed, and she is now almost 24 and her parents contiue to pay everything for her. She isn't in school, she works full-time, and she is a grown adult, at least referring to her numerical age. She constantly overdraws her account and complains about it but her parents always bail her out. And the only thing that she has learned from all this is that her parents should provide for her whether she is a grown adult or not, she expects them to pay for everything so she can blow her money on alcohol and going to bars. They have allowed her to be the most irresponsible and selfish person and frankly, she will probably never sincerely grow up, she will always depend on them for everything. And even sadder, she doesn't truly appreciate anything that they have done for her.

I know I have ranted for awhile, but this is an issue I feel very strongly about. Our nation, for the most part, is so oblivious to poverty and starvation all over the world, even close to home but yet they continue to hand their children things way above and beyond their needs. We are teaching them to be greedy, shallow, and uncompassionate individuals. How can we ever expect this world to be a better place until we start to focus on our future generations and the other people that we are ignoring in order to live our extravagent, priveleged lifestyles. We are missing the big picture and we don't even seem to care. We are creating a generation that will only be concerned with themselves. How can we expect our country to have a bright future when we are creating selfish individuals who focus only on themselves and their possessions.

Inhumane and out of control!!!

2007-11-03T20:49:00.000-07:00

I recently bought a puppy and was told she was an Imperial Shih Tzu. Little did I know, that breed doesn't even exist. It is a name they use for extremely small shih tzus so they can make more money. They continue to make them smaller and smaller by breeding the smallest runts of the litter. This is completley inhumane! These dogs are not meant to be so small and when they are bred this small they are unable to grow properly and they can often have major health problems.

We have been having problems with Zoe so we took her to my father-in-law because he is a Vet. We found out that Zoe has Hydrocephalus, which is also called water on the brain. She will not develop properly because of the pressure that will continue to get worse and worse in her head. She is already having a hard time walking and keeping her balance, but as it gets worse, her head will expand causing her eyes to potrude out of her head and she will most likely, very soon, not be able to function like a normal dog and we will be forced to put her down. I am so angry that people continue to breed these toy dogs when they are just causing the dogs problems and the owners pain. This disease is very common in the toy breed dogs because they are not meant to be this small. It is devestating how fast Zoe has gone down hill. She was away from us for 3 days and it had progressed noticably within those 3 days. I have cried and cried and hate that we have to watch our innocent little puppy go through this because people want to make more money at these puppies expense. We only had Zoe for about 2 1/2 weeks before we noticed something was really wrong. It really hurts that we will have to let her go soon because we anticipated on having her for a very long time and we are already extremely attatched to her. Since we don't have any children, she is our baby.

I want people to realize the dangers of breeding these toy/miniature dogs because they are life threatening and it is not fair to the dogs or the owners. Everybody gets hurt except for the breeders, they continue to make the money, which is apparently the only thing they care about.

I don't understand, but I love you anyway...

2007-10-28T15:08:00.000-07:00

I've worried for so long with a broken heart. I have wondered if it will ever get better and it is so discouraging that is still hasn't. What makes someone feel so terrible about themself? How can they think that nobody cares? Especially if they are your mother. I try so hard to trust in the Lord and have faith that he will help you love yourself and see how many other people love you. And it is so confusing to me how you can have such a big heart for other people when you are hurting so badly yourself. Each time I think it has improved, I am pounded with another realization. You can't get out of bed, let alone go to work. You cry for days straight and have no idea why you are cying.

Dad has been such an amazing husband and friend. He has brought you from the depths of hell and continued to stand by you and be your strength. He works so hard without ever once complaining. He is such a gentle, loving spirit. He makes me realize what a true man really is.

Even in all the pain and hurting, I see what a true family is. I see how strong you really are to have raised Autumn and I in spite of all the personal struggles. How you taught us to love and give to others and above all to serve the Lord. You taught us that material things don't really matter, relationships are the most important. It seems odd to me how I can so admire a person that is hurting and struggling so much. I am constantly reminded that things are not always what they seem. That truth can sometimes be a harsh reality that never subsides.

Loving someone is unconditional. You have to love through all the pain, the struggles, and the doubts. Even if you will never understand you have to be there to listen, to hope, to pray, or sometimes just to give a hug. You may find yourself hurting just as bad to see someone you love hurt. You may have to cry for them even if you don't understand. I realize that someones suicide thoughts can hurt you worse than them. Are we not enough? Am I not enough? I can't ask that though because I don't understand, I don't think I will ever understand...

Great Expectations...

2007-10-20T12:58:00.000-07:00

I am very excited about this course. I'm hoping to better improve my writing skills and in turn, feel more confident about my writing. I had Doctor Hochenauer for block one British Novel and I really enjoyed him. He was very helpful when I ever had questions or concerns.

I really like the forum posting because it allows us to get to know our classmates. It is slightly different than in the traditional classroom, but I feel like it helps us improve our communication through writing instead of just speaking. I am very excited about writing a paper on a less formal topic such as the one we are going to write about a childhood TV show. It is nice to have some freedom and fun with it because most writing assignments are more serious.

I look forward to meeting everyone in the class and also working on and improving my writing skills.

Brighton Rock

2007-10-07T19:05:00.000-07:00

Brighton Rock was a great book. It was so nice to have a new, unique story line. I really had a hard time with Pinkie, I thought he was a selfish, disturbed individual. He used people to his advantage no matter how much they truly cared for him. It was very sad to see the life that Rose led. She seemed like a lost and insucure young girl who was looking for love anywhere she could find it. I wouldn't really say that Pinkie loved her, but I think that she found comfort in the thought of him and someone being there, someone to come home to.

It was obvious throughout the novel that the notion of "good vs evil" played a huge part in the novel. Ida was the representation of good and Pinkie of evil. I wouldn't say that Ida was the best person ever, but she stood for justice and I think she truly cared for Rose and her situation. Although Rose may not have been thanful or appreciative, I think that Ida played a huge role in saving her.

I was impressed with the novel, it was very interesting and slightly out of the ordinary which was refreshing.

A Handful of Dust

2007-09-30T14:23:00.000-07:00

This was a very entertaining novel. Sometimes it seemed extremely far from reality because of the excess of conflict, but it was very captivating. The story was really funny at times and then a little more serious at others.

I was very taken back by the quality, or should I say lack of quality, that the mothers' actions possessed. Who is relieved to find out their son is dead? And what kind of person brings their daughter when they plan on meeting their lover?!

One thing that I think the novel really focused on was the idea of social class. I think that Waugh had every intention at mocking the upper class society. They lacked purpose, morals, and a sense of reality. They were the characters in their own little world and nothing else mattered to them. They really did do what they wanted, who they wanted, when they wanted to. I found it very funny that to this day, I think that this mantality still remains among a lot of the "rich and famous." I know that you can't stereotype every single one of them, but a large majority live in their own little world and contribute nothing to society. And so many of them tend to think that they are an exception to the rules that most have to abide by. It is so irritating!

Lady Chatterley's Lover

2007-09-22T17:57:00.000-07:00

Lady Chatterley's Lover was a very interesting novel. It kept my undivided attention but at the same time, it made me slightly uncomfortable. Lawrence obviously placed a huge emphasis on sexuality and sexual fulfillment; I think it was actually to an extreme. I do think that this is a natural topic; however, I could have done without all of the details. I personally don’t feel comfortable reading or watching graphic sex scenes, maybe its just me though?
The sexual views from the novel are definitely more contemporary. I found myself quite surprised about some of the content though, but I guess I expected that going into it.

It was really sad to me how all of the characters seemed so unhappy. All of the emphasis was placed on sexual fulfillment, not mental or emotional well-being. To truly be happy you need loving, nurturing relationships, not just sexual pleasure.

I wasn't sure exactly what to expect going into this book, but I ended up really enjoying it. It was a little out of the ordinary for me, but I was impressed by it. I have a lot of respect for Lawrence because I know he got a lot of backlash from this novel but he went ahead and published it anyway.

A Passage to India

2007-09-15T14:51:00.001-07:00

Well, once again I enjoyed the reading. I think I might have been a little more passionate about this reading because I think that almost anybody can relate in some way to one or several of the characters. It was a very real situation for a lot of people, even presently. I did find some of the dialogue hard to follow because I was sometimes confused about who was saying what so I did have to go back and re-read several time. I really enjoyed reading the Indians perspective on things because it was easier to sympathize with their situation. I found myself angry at how the British treated them. I hate when people think that they are superior to someone no matter what the circumstances. It was even more disturbing that they came to the Indians country and treated them like that.

Although I found several of the characters interesting and charming in their own way, I have come to the conclusion that Fielding was my favorite. I know I said this on my post, but I honestly thought that he was an awesome guy. He was far more intelligent and understanding that any of the other British people. The friendship that he shared with Aziz was a very special one and it gave so much hope to the story and both the Indians and the British. Some people really can overcome and overlook things no matter how bad it has been in the past. It just takes compassion, strength, and a love for people, no matter what the color of their skin is.

I also liked how as a reader you were given some insight to Indian culture. I have always heard about the ganges river and although it didn't play a huge part in the story it was nice to read at least a little about it. Sometimes we get so caught up in our own world that we forget about the other people and cultures that we share this world with. It is nice to be brought back to reality every now and then.

Mrs. Dalloway

2007-09-09T11:03:00.001-07:00

Another week, another novel. This week we read Mrs. Dalloway. I had already read it once before but I feel like this time it made a lot more sense. I noticed things and put things together that I didn't before. The most unique thing about Virginia Woolf's novel is that it is written in the stream of consciousness. Through this we get insights from every characters personal thoughts. The most amazing thing about this is how everyone ties togehter in some way. I really enjoyed reading Mrs. Dalloway because it is a great story but I also think it is brilliant how woolf put the story together. In the story there were situations that i think everyone can relate to. This draws us even closer to the characters. A story is so much better when you fully understand and can relate to its characters. I think Woolf did a marvelous job creating characters through stream of consciousness and setting up situations that most people can relate to in some way.

The Good Soldier

2007-09-02T15:36:00.000-07:00

Well, I must say that this was a much easier read than last week. I did find that the narrators thoughts were somewhat hard to follow at times because he was all over the place, but I think that the intention was to be true to life. I think that when people get into their emotional stories, their thoughts do tend to be scattered and unorganized so I did find the narrator very believable in that manner.

I really did like the novel but I found myself thinking of the story as a soap opera portrayed by one character, I couldn't help it. I would have to say that Leonora was probably my favorite character. She was such a strong individual and she was true to her faith and beliefs. I did feel really sorry for her because of all the pain that she endured due to her husbands actions. It was very intriguing to me how her love for Edward was unwavering despite his disregard for her. Even after everything he had done to her she tried to please him and she wanted nothing more than for him to love her.

A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man

2007-08-26T19:40:00.000-07:00

The first novel I read for British Novel was A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man. I must say, I was more impressed than I expected. I really liked how Joyce used this story as a Biography. Some biographies are so blah, but this one was interesting and inriguing. I love how Stephen develops in the story and how Joyce uses subtle, but very real ways of showing him as an artist. It was refreshing to see how Stephen had the ability to stand on his own as an artist and a person, he was comfortable in his own skin. I didn't really look at it that way until one of my classmates pointed it out. I know there was a mixed concensus on whether or not Stephen was an artist by the end of the novel, but I strongly feel that he was an artist even from the beginning. I think he was born an artist. The way in which he analyzes, records, thinks, and fully sees the world is a strong indicator that he is in fact an artist. He obviously hasn't fully matured as an artist but he is well on his way.

Another component of the story that really kept me interested was the wavering feelings about catholicism and the church. I think that so many people deal with confusion and mixed feelings when it comes to religion and that made the story somewhat relatable. It was very obvious that Stephen was getting mixed signals from the church and the religion and in a way I think that pushed him towards art even more so. I believe that his experiences and his struggles all played a part in who he would become. Although he did deal with confusion and uncertainty I think that is necessary. You must struggle with what you believe or don't believe and come to a very real conclusion.